‘Twas the countdown to Christmas and all through my brain
Danced visions of giving to loved ones again.
With credit cards handy and Christmas cards too,
‘Twas Xmas like always -- what else could I do?
But then, from my Mac there arose such a clatter
I sprang to the keyboard to check out the chatter.
And right there on U-Tube was Al Gore himself
With flipcharts behind him -- a right angry old elf!
He’d gained a few pounds and was long in the tooth
But none of that mattered, ‘cause he’d seen the Truth.
His points were all listed -- a litany of shame,
And he highlighted each as he called them by name:
“On climate, on flooding, on habitat loss!
On the things that we purchase, and play with, and toss!
On warming, and melting, and drowned Polar Bears,
On species extinction! (I covered my ears…)
Al’s finger was wagging, it pointed at me.
I looked left and right and got ready to flee…
But what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a handy “Escape Clause” that said “sign right here.”
“Will you change,” asks the Gorester?
Er, sure thing, you bet…
I won’t give this year and (gulp!) I guess I won’t get.
You’ll give to your Mother (that’s Gaia to you).
And so, my dear people, tho’ I love you a lot
This Xmas I’ll put all my bucks in one pot
And send a fat check off to where there’s most need.*
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD DEED!
And with peace and goodwill towards all women and men, Santa “Cause”
*Specifically: Conservation International, Amazon Conservation Team, and the Institute for Transportation and Development Policy