Friday, December 21, 2007

‘Twas the countdown to Christmas

Our health -- in fact, our survival -- is inextricably connected to the health of our environment: it's not just an issue, like poverty or world peace, it is the overarching issue. Which is why I decided to do things a bit differently this Holiday season. But instead of simply explaining what, I inflicted some derivative seasonal doggerel on my long-suffering fiends and relations...and now on you, dear reader of this blog:

‘Twas the countdown to Christmas and all through my brain

Danced visions of giving to loved ones again.

With credit cards handy and Christmas cards too,

‘Twas Xmas like always -- what else could I do?

But then, from my Mac there arose such a clatter

I sprang to the keyboard to check out the chatter.

And right there on U-Tube was Al Gore himself

With flipcharts behind him -- a right angry old elf!

He’d gained a few pounds and was long in the tooth

But none of that mattered, ‘cause he’d seen the Truth.

His points were all listed -- a litany of shame,

And he highlighted each as he called them by name:

“On climate, on flooding, on habitat loss!

On the things that we purchase, and play with, and toss!

On warming, and melting, and drowned Polar Bears,

On species extinction! (I covered my ears…)

Al’s finger was wagging, it pointed at me.

I looked left and right and got ready to flee…

But what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a handy “Escape Clause” that said “sign right here.”

“Will you change,” asks the Gorester?

Er, sure thing, you bet…

I won’t give this year and (gulp!) I guess I won’t get.

You'll give," says St. Albert, "and here's what you'll do.

You’ll give to your Mother (that’s Gaia to you).

And so, my dear people, tho’ I love you a lot

This Xmas I’ll put all my bucks in one pot

And send a fat check off to where there’s most need.*


And with peace and goodwill towards all women and men, Santa “Cause”

(A.K.A. Mary)

*Specifically: Conservation International, Amazon Conservation Team, and the Institute for Transportation and Development Policy

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